My dear readers. I’m not one to write a snarky review, especially to a venue as public as the Magestic Messenger. But, after what I saw at the Celebration of Faith event a few weeks ago in Point Edgar, I just can’t help myself. Some people deserve roasting. 

While at the event, I noticed that Minister Heartsong of the Allegiant was scheduled to provide the keynote address about the Incarnation of Faith and their importance in agreement as the baseline to all worship and, thus, incarnational magic. Although a young minister, the Celebration welcomed Heartsong due to the long-established Heartsong name and reputation. At least that’s what the pamphlet said. I couldn’t believe my eyes when the Minister approached the podium. How old was this kid? 16? And a minister? You know what they say – some people fail upwards. 
Case and point to that, when Heartsong approached the podium and the crowd shushed down, all he did was stand there, stumbling through his notes, talking about the weather. Didn’t mention A WORD about the Incarnation of Faith. Eventually, the crowd turned on the sorry child, booing him, demanding SOME mention about their chosen incarnation – or any incarnation!

And yet, nothing. Heartsong appeared INCAPABLE of reciting any knowledge about the Incarnations AT ALL. Some Minister, right? Gotta say, it was pretty sad until the breadsticks were tossed at him. Then it was pretty funny, actually. Saved the whole evening. I was too busy laughing, but I think I saw him wiping tears away as he fled the stage, probably to head back to the Academy for more lessons.

In any case, dear readers. If this is what the Allegiant has come to – ministers who are children with zero knowledge about the incarnations in the world – are they even worth our time?

Disappointed Faith Worshipper

Mine Thievery

After the odd disappearance of the iron mine last moon, royal inquisitors have been looking for any clues with no leads. Once again, they find themselves baffled as a copper mine in the mountains east of Point Edgar fell to a similar fate, vanishing seemingly overnight. The missing metal is estimated at about 200 tons of copper. After an in depth search into the mines, the only clue found was a crushed clockwork machine that seemed to be shaped like a spider the size of a small child. If you have any information on the situation or are specialists in clockwork machinery, please contact Inquisitor Hawthorne in Point Edgar.

Academy Students Stage Walk Out!

In an event that has never happened since the inception of the school’s history, students at the prestigious Irvanshire Academy of Point Edgar staged a walk out earlier this month. Even more shocking, the students have resisted returning to class ever since. When questioned as to why this was occurring, Emma Rawlings, who currently sits top of her class and president of the student council, explained: 

“After staring and staring at pages and pages of books and failing to retain anything, I kind of just gave up. What’s the point of trying to learn if you can’t recall anything? That’s what a lot of me and my friends were complaining about, anyway. Besides, everyone else bailed on class. Why wouldn’t I?”

Currently the Academy is still open, but its classrooms remain predominantly vacant as students blow off coursework, classes, and more. Local parents have grown desperate.

“When I deliver my son to school and find out that he plays hookey shortly thereafter, I have to ask: what are the teachers even DOING at that school?” one parent who wished to remain anonymous commented. “We pay a lot of coin for this school and I remain truly unimpressed with how the staff have been handling this issue. Just keep the students in class; how hard could it even BE? Shame on them!”

Weeks after the initial incident, attendance issues continue at the Academy. Anyone with any information or advice on how to curb this behavior is encouraged to reach out to the Academy directly.

Prominent Iron Mine Mysteriously Disappears.

After the tragedy that befell Tradegate two moons ago, supplies were called in to help rebuild. One such delivery was supposed to be a shipment of Iron Ore from a mine in the mountains south of Lakedale. When the shipment never arrived, a messenger was sent to find out why the shipment was behind schedule. What they found when they got there however baffled the messenger. The Mine was completely abandoned. No sign of life, and what’s weirder is, after some investigation, the Mine appears to have been completely stripped. An estimated amount of over 500 tons of metal ore completely vanished. Even the tools left behind by the now missing Miners were stripped of all metal, leaving the wooden handles behind. More investigation is underway.

The Sorrow of the Great Alpha

The following is a tale recounted by Albion of the Great Alpha’s pack to enlighten those without wolf blood, so they, too, can understand the sorrow of the Great Alpha. 

The moon has risen, large and full. Atop a mountain perch, a lone figure appears. The Great Alpha stands on the perch watching the full moon rise, as he has many times before. But this time his heart is heavy. Heavy with the loss of his pack members he has lost to the foul psychic shade that is corrupting his beloved wolves. He leans his head back, and a great mournful howl escapes his lips. It echoes across the land.

It can be heard by many- such a beautiful sound to most. But those with wolf blood in them know the truth within the howl. Pain and sadness is full within this howl. It tells a tale of how ten young wolves have lost their lives to the physic shade. The Great Alpha howls nine more times. Once for each member that was lost. All with wolf blood can see in their mind’s eye, the image of the Great Alpha standing on his perch howling, tears flowing from his eyes. He turns and looks at them all then fades away as if a dream. Because of all that the Great Alpha has done for werewolf kind, all those with wolf blood feel for the Great Alpha, and their hearts break for him and those that were lost. Well, almost all.  

Strange New Violent Creatures Discovered Near Elmerton!

Eugine Ladingail, a traveling merchant was returning home after a month away from home, to a small Hamlet named Ivy. When he returned home he expected to return home to his wife and daughters, but instead he returned to a ghost town. What happened? Where did everyone go? This is the story of Eugine Ladingail.  

“I think the first thing I noticed was the smell,” says Eugine. “The air it smelled strange, like a chemical smell, like acid, but there was something else mixed in as well, I don’t know what it was but it didn’t smell good.” Eugine then described to me how he searched Ivy looking to see where everyone had gone, calling out for his wife and children, but nobody answered him, nobody came. “I searched every building in Ivy, and I found no one, everyone was gone. That’s when I began looking for signs, seeing what could had done this and where could they have gone.” 

Eugine noticed that many of the doors were not bashed open, but burned open melted away with some acidic substance and that none of the valuables were removed from the house. Eugine also noticed that on the dirt pathways outside that he only saw the citizens boot prints and not any tracks made by the attackers. But then upon closer inspection he found strange “footprints”- areas were the soft dirt had flattened perfectly in the shape of a toeless foot. The same footprints were found inside the houses as well, areas where the stain of the floorboards were completely removed from the wood.

“It’s almost like whoever came into Ivy didn’t come here for any valuables, they came there for the people” Euigine said.“It was quiet for a very long time until I entered one house searching it for anyone still left. It was empty, same as the others, but the smell of acid was stronger in here, that when I heard something. I turned and ducked just in time as a large hand soared over my head, if I had not reacted I surely would have been hit. Standing before me was a humanoid creature, standing at around 6ft tall, it’s limbs were unnaturally long, it’s head or what resembled a head was devoid of features, and it’s flesh was made of translucent green slime that smelled strongly of some acidic chemical. And within it’s it’s slimy body I noticed floating within was swirls or crimson and bits partially dissolved bone. In it’s other hand it held a rusted mace, the grip of which was slowly being eaten away by the creatures touch. 

“I unsheathed my sword and took a swing at the creature. It dug deep into the creatures torso and it let out an inhuman scream, like some horrible demonic fetus screaming through sludge. As I drew my blade out of the creature, green thick sludge poured from the wound sloshing onto the floor. I looked at my blade and I noticed small pockmarks all across the part of the sword where it made contact with the creature. It continued with its otherworldly piping as it swung its mace at me, I dodged out of the way and the mace collided with a nearby wall and got lodged in place. While it tried to free the mace from the wall I slashed at it again, it landed in the thing’s shoulder blade, I pulled out the blade and slashed it across the stomach. It cried out again, its… well… what mimicked breathing, grew more raspy, and more and more of its thick sludgy innards lapped onto the floor. 

“It staggered towards me and sung at me with one of its fists. I dodged out of the way but the second fist caught me off guard and grabbed onto my left forearm. It felt like my forearm was being stabbed with a thousand razor blades over and over again. I tried to pull away but its vice-like grip held strong, while its other hand began to reach towards my head, its rasping labored sludge filled breathing echoed in my ears. I pulled and pulled and felt its grip loosening, I pulled one last time, moment of awful pain and I freed myself from its grip. I stepped back and swung my sword, I swung once at the chest making a diagonal cut across the creature’s torso, and again at its neck. With a wet slap and a loud gurgling scream its faceless head toppled to the floor, its neck began to spill more of the foul sludge as its headless body stumbled towards me, hands groping at the air, and with one last gurgling otherworldly cry it fell onto the ground and died.

“Its body immediately began to lose shape and melted into a pile of ooze, I noticed that the pile of ooze that was its right hand was was a deep shade of crimson and looked down at the arm that it had grabbed. Most of the skin on my forearm was gone leaving the severely damaged muscle and in some places, like my fingers, bone was also exposed.”

Eugine told us that he then walked to the next town over to get medical attention and to report the hamlet’s destruction to the town guard. Eugine ended up having to get his left forearm amputated and he has completely recovered from his injuries. 

Eugine’s story is sadly not unique, over the course of the summer, many small communities that were once thriving and full of life are now ghost towns and larger settlements have been reporting disappearances and sightings of these strange long limbed humanoids roaming large packs. However, what is strange is that all the farms, hamlets, and small towns that were attacked were nearby or somewhat nearby to the large town of Elmerton. Even some of the large farms and settlements that have survived attacks from these creatures were seen approaching from and retreating toward the direction of the town of Elmerton. What could this mean? Could Elmerton the town of heroes created the creatures? If so then why? More as the story continues. 

Magestic Messenger Reporter: Miles Dakly

Traders’ Bay attacked and burned down!

In a vicious attack that was done by either pirates or terrorists the world renowned trade port, Traders’ Bay was sacked just a night ago.

As night fell a fleet of ten ships approached the bay. They soon walled off the dock area with their ships and attacked both the Traders’ Bay and the Unity Mining Company in an attack that will cost tradesmen and commoners an untold fortune. Wooden structures where burned to the ground, mines were collapsed and robbed. Men, women, and children who were part of the community, who lived there, lost their lives to these enemies of decency.  Rico Demesmarc, the overseer of the Bay, did his best to mount a counter attack against these villains, but the numbers were just too great. His men were slain, dying bravely in combat in defense of the lands and people. Mr. Demesmarc’s modest home was sacked and set ablaze. His body has yet to be recovered, but there is so much chaos and wreckage left behind it may take some time to fully have a count of those murdered.

The loss of innocent life is tragically high but the real numbers may never be known due to destructive fires and the mine cave-ins. The loss of money is nigh incalculable as the repercussions on, not only the local economy, but the global economy, will be severe. Everyone from the simple farmer to the highest member of royal society will feel this for years to come. We can only hope and pray that something of this terrible magnitude will never occur again and that these pirates will be brought to justice.

Brenard O’Callighan
Royal Scribe of Terl Ayre 

New Magistrate Appointed

Citizens of Elmerton,

Recently I have met with a number of you in town. In receiving a brief on what has occurred since the relocation back from Marshall’s Landing, it seems to be in the best interest of the town to allow the current Magistrate, Rybin Van Holt, to step down from his office. As of the 14th of Enlightening in the year 129 of the Age of Fortune, current Acting Magistrate Griswald Ganymede is to be appointed Magistrate. He has met the requirements for the position via virtue of his current position as Assitant Magistrate and regular residency.

I understand that this transition comes with it’s own challenges and trials. Magistrate Griswald Ganymede has been briefed on what his duties are, and I ask you help him in filling the role Rybin has responsibly upheld these past years. Any concerns regarding this matter may be sent in writing for further discussion.

Baroness Lobea Lavendros

Tradegate Cured! Army of Disease Unleashed! Vondus Under Fire!

It appears the great plague of Tradegate has ended, but not without significant cost.

Spiritualists report the energy of the disease began siphoning away to two distinct locations on the 19th of Petalsong—one located on the outskirts of the major city, one within. Though no turbulence has been reported from the location on the outskirts of the city, the one located within Tradegate erupted with danger as a massive abomination of the laughing plague crushed its way from the basement of a dilapidated home on the east end.

Horns blared as the town guard and stationed members of the Irvanshirian army took up arms against the vile creature. Despite fighting valiantly, the armed forces had to retreat shortly after being summoned, overwhelmed by the manifestations of the disease and a cackling band of followers who appeared humanoid. Dozens fell to the disease’s corruption, but no townsfolk were reported deceased.

The violence ended as the abomination crushed its way through an outer wall, its back towards Tradegate as it fled. Scouts report the abomination has manifested thousands of iterations of the disease, its numbers climbing by the day—an army of disease and laughter untamed.

Irvanshirians nervous about the disease began flocking to the Crown’s gates in Point Edgar, demanding answers and reassurances, screaming for an update from the High Inqusitior and Crown. When pressed, Ambrose Glass, Herald of the Crown, House Brighthand, issued a statement about the recent activity:

“The King offers his sincerest sorrow for what has occurred in the great city of Tradegate. His thoughts are with its people and the families of those who have suffered or lost loved ones due to this devastating affliction. . .

The Crown, steadfast in its resolve to keep Irvanshire safe, has been reassured by High Inquisitor Vondus that he will personally oversee that the army of disease, and its abomination, will be dispatched as swiftly as possible without any more loss of human life. Our complete confidence rests within his abilities.”

At last note the army of disease was moving eastward on the coast. Citizens between Tradegate and Bloomingport are urged to take extreme caution and prepare for a potential plague on their doorsteps. 

In the Name of the Crown

In the wake of the quarantine of Tradegate, the Crown calls to officially recognize Lord Vega of House Vondus from the dimension of Mortuan for an incredibly sizable donation of gold, aid, and resources in support of relief efforts to the great city and, thus, Irvanshire. 

Henceforth it be known: in recognition of these deeds; and in recognition of a stalwart resolve against decay and in betterment of humankind; insofar as the rights be extended throughout the kingdom of Irvanshire, the Crown doth decree an inquisition occur with the sole focusing of warding the state against future famine, disease, and plague. 

Effective immediately, the Crown doth decree Lord Vega of House Vondus of Mortuan, with all rights do, as HIGH INQUISITOR of this task force. 

So shall it be known.

Ambrose Glass
Herald of the Crown
House Brighthand