A young woman, who wished to withhold her name from the article, has woken up from a three month slumber. Local doctors are stunned by a duration that they believe was unaided by alchemical or magical interference. When questioned about the unusual circumstances, she punched the reporter [me] and claimed that…
“Losing a fight real hard is a chump move… and that chump ain’t allowed to be awake with her posse. I’m not saying I lost a fight or anything but if I did, I might not show my face around for a while. So what if I like sleeping? I was tired. When did that become a crime, nerd?”
She refused further comment.
Her mother spoke to us and reported she is happy and relieved that her daughter is well and seems to be acting like herself again. She was unable to offer an explanation for the unusual circumstances.
We will not be providing any follow up information due to the threatening nature of the young woman.