My dear readers. I’m not one to write a snarky review, especially to a venue as public as the Magestic Messenger. But, after what I saw at the Celebration of Faith event a few weeks ago in Point Edgar, I just can’t help myself. Some people deserve roasting.
While at the event, I noticed that Minister Heartsong of the Allegiant was scheduled to provide the keynote address about the Incarnation of Faith and their importance in agreement as the baseline to all worship and, thus, incarnational magic. Although a young minister, the Celebration welcomed Heartsong due to the long-established Heartsong name and reputation. At least that’s what the pamphlet said. I couldn’t believe my eyes when the Minister approached the podium. How old was this kid? 16? And a minister? You know what they say – some people fail upwards.
Case and point to that, when Heartsong approached the podium and the crowd shushed down, all he did was stand there, stumbling through his notes, talking about the weather. Didn’t mention A WORD about the Incarnation of Faith. Eventually, the crowd turned on the sorry child, booing him, demanding SOME mention about their chosen incarnation – or any incarnation!
And yet, nothing. Heartsong appeared INCAPABLE of reciting any knowledge about the Incarnations AT ALL. Some Minister, right? Gotta say, it was pretty sad until the breadsticks were tossed at him. Then it was pretty funny, actually. Saved the whole evening. I was too busy laughing, but I think I saw him wiping tears away as he fled the stage, probably to head back to the Academy for more lessons.
In any case, dear readers. If this is what the Allegiant has come to – ministers who are children with zero knowledge about the incarnations in the world – are they even worth our time?
Disappointed Faith Worshipper
When given this assignment, I was not prepared for the brutal den of sin, thievery, and apathy that I would be walking into, but as a decorated and critically acclaimed reporter, I persevered. While interviewing the Town guard, Linarien, she admitted to not only allowing the slime creatures that have been terrorizing Irvanshire, but being responsible for a confirmed 48 murders perpetrated by these “slime monsters”. I was then told by a man who claimed his name was “Adele” explained that the town itself were in fact “monsters,” explaining to me the horrid activities the town would perform on a regular basis, not the least of which was Murder. There, too, we met a being who claims to be a human-looking shell controlled by 7 foxes. They made a convincing show in my presence of a woman wearing a fox mask, but what is the true mask? Finally, I talked to a proclaimed Immortal called Feshanyog who saw people as “pebbles that were made to crash against each other,” showing total disregard for any form of life. I would have continued my investigation but after I was viciously robbed of my equipment, I knew that I first must retrieve my gear, braving myself to one of these monsters to retrieve my things. I knew then it was time to retreat from this horrid place before I risked mine and my assistant’s life even further. I am glad I survived to report this.
Elmerton, the so called “Town of Heroes” May have at one point earned that name, but the monsters that have taken over this town aren’t those people. It may be that they became what they fought, but regardless I would advise anyone expecting heroes in the town of Elmerton – you should expect Monsters instead.
After the odd disappearance of the iron mine last moon, royal inquisitors have been looking for any clues with no leads. Once again, they find themselves baffled as a copper mine in the mountains east of Point Edgar fell to a similar fate, vanishing seemingly overnight. The missing metal is estimated at about 200 tons of copper. After an in depth search into the mines, the only clue found was a crushed clockwork machine that seemed to be shaped like a spider the size of a small child. If you have any information on the situation or are specialists in clockwork machinery, please contact Inquisitor Hawthorne in Point Edgar.